Thankyou everyone for your lovely messages, and hope you are all doing ok.

We took the bench on Saturday to Port Lympne and had a very special day there,
in all there were 13 of us and we were all admitted to the park for free and were told
to spend as much time as we wanted. We put the bench in place and then had photos
taken which are absolutely lovely, if I am able to I would like to post some on here for you
all to see, also the special pathway for Petes bench is in progress, as it has been put in a
temporary place at present, so it might be put in its proper place sooner than we thought,
we also learnt that his beloved tigers had cubs only last week, dont know how many yet as
it is too soon for them to see, so Pete will be so pleased that they have become parents again,
he really enjoyed the last two cubs and we even went there in the snow to watch them. A good day
was had by most, our youngest son (24) was overcome with emotion and wandered off on his own
for a while and later said through his tears that we should not have been putting a bench there for
dad, he should have been there walking with us, I told him that dad will always be walking with us
wherever we go, it was so sad for him.
Sunday was a dreadful day, I could not stop crying and just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up, dont
know what happened, probably just all the emotions of the week built up, finally went to sleep to be
woken at 1.30am by the phone, our youngest son had been taken to hospital with a bad headache and severe
chest pains, they think it is a stress migrane and all the grief he has had over the weeks has put a lot
of stress on his heart and they think he has had a mild heart attack, he is so poorly and I feel absolutely
useless because I cant even deal with myself and he needs me now. When will this all stop.
Sorry about the rotten bits but had to let it all out.
Feeling so so low and I know Pete would be kicking me up the bum to get me moving, but sorry my darling
not working yet missing you so much.
House is so full but yet so lonely.
Love to you all
Carol XXXXXXX

What a difficult weekend for you Carol.
If you are able to it will be great if you can put some of the photos of Pete's bench on here, it willl be lovely to see tham.
I'm so sorry to hear of your son's illness, and I am sure you will find the strength to be there for him., I hope he makes a good recovery.
Praying for you Carol, and sending hugs.

Love, Doreen xx

Dear Carol,

So happy to hear of something wonderful you have done for Pete´s Memory, these things will give you great comfort in time. But you are still grieving yourself just now and until you come to terms with that you will have difficulty moving on. You are allowed to take as long as you need and you have your family with you too. It´s so sad to hear about your youngest son, he is in the right place and will be looked after. You sound like a wonderful mum don´t doubt yourself because of your grief, the fact that your family are so close proves that. Try to be strong think of all the good times you have had together I can only imagine how hard this is for you, you are all in my thoughts. Sending love and kind thoughts. Lorna xx

oh carol, what a horrendous week for you! I do hope your son is picking up a little now.

Stress does incredible things to our bodies doesnt it- we tend to discount it as something minor, but really it is such an integral part of bodily responses.
I wonder how you are this morning?

I had a meeting re gemma on monday and I cried so much I had to leave the meeting! they were not even being nasty to me! I was so embarassed I couldnt stop. I find that some days the crying over takes me and I havent been anywhere near your level of loss.

MUCH love Carol

Jenni xx

Me again,
Jenni let them tears go, I am told they do help, only problem is
they have to put out a flood warning when I start because I cant stop, hope all
is well with Gemma, lots of love to you all
Carol XXXX

A fllood warning-Carol your humour will help you through this terrible time believe me.
Of course you're struggling. Every little thing seems like a major thing that you really don't want to deal with on your own.
This WILL make you stronger in a different way eventually, When my sister was beginning to come out of this terrible period you are in right now she used to say that though life will never be quite the same , she is going to think of it as her NEW life. She has gone from strength to strength but never forgets her love for Michael.

Dear Carol

I've been reading all of your post and thinking of you all.

I can't really add anymore than whats already been said.

Just want to send you a big hug.

Love to you all

Paula x x x